Just like the rest of this world — I’ve been heartbroken. I’ve experienced loss. I’ve experienced feeling confused in life, trying to navigate through each obstacle without having a sense of direction or purpose. I’ve been at my ultimate low, yet I’ve found the strength and courage to rise above.
Without the unforeseen heartbreak, loss, and confusion, I would not be anywhere near as happy, spontaneous, adventurous, or optimistic as I am today. This version of myself that you see smiling, laughing, and standing with you today, has been shaped by the many experiences and perspectives that came with overcoming each setback.
If I’m certain about one thing in this life, it’s that God will not put you through curveballs and challenges that he is not absolutely certain you will overcome. The journey will never be easy, but that’s the best part. You can’t learn to love unconditionally if you have not experienced true heartbreak. You can’t learn to stand on your own two feet, or open your arms to the unknown, if you don’t fail. You can’t feel confident in your own skin if you have not experienced walking and leading your own path, on your own terms.
One setback that continues to be a challenge for me is opening my world to someone new. I’ve become so comfortable being on my own and living my life by my own T&C’s, that I am actually afraid to allow someone else into my world and into my heart.
Your heart is the most fragile, beautiful piece of who you are — it’s not an easy choice to be able or willing to fully and completely open it and share a piece with someone new. Whenever I come close to trying, I can feel my mind and my heart pushing back at me, shutting people out as a defense because it’s just easier that way. To go on living my life, taking on all new adventures, and not letting anyone get too close or get in my way — it has made taking charge of my life and, well, at least 70% of everything in it, that much easier.
But, like most challenges we face in life, there comes a time where we fight back. Now is that time. It’s time to push back, to fight back on my mind and heart. It’s time to allow others into my world — to share my passions, vulnerability, and zest for life. As a mid-twenty-something year old, I’ve learned to fully cherish my time to wander and just simply be. I’ve learned to dive into passions that have resurfaced, along with embracing something as simple as time. Time with friends; time with loved ones; time with myself. Time to wander, explore, and observe beautiful, frightening, and unknown adventures on the road less traveled.
I’m not saying that I’m ready to allow someone fully and completely into my heart, or into my world. But I’m ready to try. And right now, where my life is at in this exact moment, that’s perfectly fine by me.
Holding onto my rebel heart; taking chances on every opportunity to keep myself on my toes. Embarking on countless journeys. Embracing anyone and everyone whose path crosses mine.
Enjoying this life. Cherishing time. Sharing with the world what makes me, me — and then some.