What is love? How do you know if or when you’re in love? How can you tell if or when it’s real?
To be completely transparent, I have absolutely no idea — which I’m sure you might not have expected to hear right off the bat. I feel just as scared and in the dark about the concept and idea of love as you do. I have my beliefs and curiosities about what love should be and has the potential to be, but my guess is as good as yours. I used to believe that love was the greatest thing in the world — that having that one person who completes you, shows you affection and who understands you, who admires you and shares your interests and hobbies was something that everyone hoped for and wanted.
The truth is that it takes so much more than one, two, or even three, relationships to know what you want in a life partner. Don’t get me wrong, it’s so exciting to find someone who aligns with everything that makes you feel giddy and infatuated. But it takes so much more than fun, affection, and lust to make something work. People grow and change in their own ways through time and experience, and often times our wants and desires change just as we do as individuals.
I don’t believe in love today the way that I did back then, and I’m glad that’s the case. I have my own set of one-offs with trust and completely letting someone in. Trusting myself, and myself alone has been the easiest way to prevent disappointment or a broken heart because that’s what we’re all afraid of at the end of the day, right? Having the tendency to close yourself off when you actually see potential with someone because of your fear of getting hurt — it’s more common than you think to have that mindset at the beginning.
But someday, at some point in time, you’re going to finally push yourself out of your shell to experience the world and people around you with excitement and confidence. You’re going to stop living in the “what-if’s” of the unknown, and allow yourself to dive head first into every moment. To making each and every day count with someone you really care for — the only thing that truly matters is taking advantage of each moment as you’re living it.
Over the past few years, I’ve learned that time to be completely alone exploring the world around you and the people you meet along the way is key in figuring out what you like, what you want, the things you love, and how you love.
What I know now more than ever is that in order to know you’re ready to let go of needing to be in control of everything and simply allow yourself to fall, is to be really, truly single — and not the type of single to be fooling around all of the time. The type of single where you allow yourself to live life on your own terms and on your own timeline. Experiencing the world and all of the people you meet along the way — and doing so in the moment, with no expectations or timelines attached.
What I know now that I didn’t before is that it’s not about finding that person who completes you, admires you, or shares your interests. It’s about finding that person who compliments you and your passions — someone who makes you believe in yourself and who you are as your own person. Finding that person who believes in you and your ambitions, but also challenges you to be the best version of yourself. Finding that person with similar interests, but who also has their own interests and passions separate from yours — someone who forces you to try new things and experience a new journey, time and time again. Finding that person who makes you excited to take on life’s crazy plot twists and turns with because you know they will stay by your side, through thick and thin to jump over mountains and hurdles as a team.
If there is one thing you should know, it’s that you deserve the world, and you deserve to find your person who makes your life’s journey an adventure — bringing more excitement and wonder into your life in every way possible. You deserve to find your person who makes your vision of love come to life, who makes your vision of love a reality.
So, here’s to finding your person, and venturing through your love’s journey.