20 Things I’ve Only Been Able To Learn By Being Really, Truly Single

20 Things I’ve Only Been Able To Learn By Being Really, Truly Single

“I was told I was dangerous…I asked why? They said, because you don’t need anyone. That’s when I smiled.”

— The Idealist


One word; six letters that for some reason, countless individuals around the world fear. Something so simple, yet something quite often perceived as dreadful or intimidating.

Anuptaphobia — now I bet that one made you stop and think for a sec. Da fuq? Anuptaphobia; the fear of being single. One word; 12 letters that today, I’m hoping to change your perspective on.

Everyone knows I’m a sucker for love; all for finding your person and conquering the world and life’s obstacles together as one, hand-in-hand. But, what happens when life showcases its twists and turns and you have to be okay on your own, alone? What is love actually worth if you aren’t able to find it; to believe in it within yourself? What does love actually mean if you aren’t able to find purpose and passion in something other than just one person?

While I am, and will always be, an inspired hopeless romantic, I am also a realist. This is my reality — one I’m sharing because the truth is, I love being single. It seems like such a strange thing to say out loud, but that’s my reality, and this is my story.

I was you.

I used to dread the thought of being single and alone. I used to fear rejection. I used to fear that emotions, actions, vulnerability, and passion wouldn’t be reciprocated. That is, until I learned to step out of comfort, jump into challenging, and come face-to-face with exhilaration. Whatever it was that I lacked or feared within my past, I developed and strengthened more than ever by just learning to simply love being on my own, alone — to be present, to live for my passions, to chase after the adrenaline rush of life’s uncertainty.

What I very quickly realized, quite frankly, was how much I learned to really, truly love being single in my mid-twenties.

Why? Well, here are my top 20 lessons I’ve learned through being alone; being really, truly single:

  1. Simply put, I actually enjoy my own company.
  2. Realizing that I laugh a little too hard at my own jokes, and have come to admire the fact that I will never take life too seriously. 
  3. Netflix & chill is just as fun solo + our good friend, Pinot Noir.
  4. Traveling alone is one of the most sensational things you have the ability to do in this life.
  5. Prioritizing trust in God’s plan before putting trust in anyone else brings a whole new level of faith and reassurance into life’s playbook. 
  6. Getting lost in this beautiful, serendipitous world is so much more meaningful than to do so in another individual.  
  7. Learning to appreciate what comes from failing and trying again and again, because of the motivation, determination, and perseverance that comes with it. 
  8. Learning to love how to be alone is the farthest thing in the world from lonely. It’s eye-opening, inspiring, monumental in shaping who I am; who I have become.  
  9. Finding a level of confidence and pure happiness that I never even knew existed. How could someone possibly be so content with being alone? Try it and maybe you’ll find out why. 😉 
  10. Trusting myself and what I know I’m capable of. Knowing I can fend for myself, fight my own battles, and influence positive change. 
  11. Learning to believe in myself and to say yes to great opportunity. Living with zero regrets, and pushing my limits with every chance I get. 
  12. Taking risks and leaps of faith — putting adventure and unknown to chance because it’s what makes life that much more exciting.  
  13. Finding the greatest love I’ve ever known — in myself, in friends, family, poetry, history, physics, science, astronomy. Everything and anything that at one point in time didn’t matter in the least bit suddenly has a greater, extraordinary meaning.
  14. Immersing myself in passion, creativity, and adventure, as if my soul had once been hidden in this dark and mysterious corner. Yet, somehow managed to find its way back, right where it belongs. 
  15. Falling in love with the high and adrenaline rush that comes with spontaneity, fascination, and curiosity. 
  16. Cherishing my freedom and independence. Being selfish in creating a life specifically designed to make me a better person every day.
  17. Learning to live wholeheartedly by the phrase, “It happens for a reason”. Things happen — but believing that it does so for the better significantly transforms your way of life; creating an open door for life-altering moments of realization and contentment. 
  18. Learning to keep going, to keep fighting, to keep seeking greatness. Learning to chase after new and breathtaking experiences.
  19. Being single has been a complete blessing. Being single has forced me to become my own biggest fan, my own backbone, my own superhero.
  20. Realizing that there will always be so much more to life — always. 

By learning to appreciate life as it comes and learning to understand how I view the world; all ways and walks of life within it, I’ve found a deeper meaning of love; a deeper meaning of life, and the potential each one has. I’ve become fascinated with every person I cross paths with — intrigued by everyone’s own unique story. Their struggles, their successes, their creative talents; learning so much about someone who is so different from me, yet to the core we’re almost identical.

The realization that at this moment, there are billions of people on this earth who I have yet to cross paths with — to hear their stories; to feed off inspiration; to create new moments and adventures with. Billions of people who I could potentially fall in love with. I’m not ready to press pause on this chapter of my life, in sharing my love and passion for this world and its to-be-continued journey. I’m not ready to give my heart to just one person because at this exact moment I have too much love to share with too many things in this world.

A world that continues to spin and shine all too brightly, all too quickly, to allow any significant person, destination and opportunity pass me by.


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